December 23, 2012

"sharing is caring and caring is fun"

There comes a point in everyones lives where the bullshit just turns into white noise. The more you are told what you can and cant do the more you clash. From my experience anyways.. I can only ever talk for myself.
I have been open with everyone in my life about my mental health and the fact that I'm adopted and to some that has made relationships a lot closer and meaningful, and sadly to others its been the reason I'm no longer allowed to be apart of their lives. I am not ashamed of my past - sure sometimes I wish I didn't do some of things I did or that some of the experiences I was witness and/or victim to didn't happen. But each one of those things happened to make me who I am today - so ultimately it was meant to happen. I have lost a few really important people in the past two years and it saddens me that they couldn't ultimately love me for me. I am comfortable in my own skin, no matter what I happen to do to it that day. I have also had positive feed back in regards to being an open book. I suppose the honesty I share about my own life makes it easier for others to talk about theirs.
With losing friends I have also gained some amazing people in my life that I wouldn't exchange for anything. And have had more time to get to know those whom were already apart of my life to a deeper degree. I am so very blessed to be where I am right now, physically and mentally. Never would I have thought a year ago that I'd be able to travel independently and still have an awesome time. I was also counting down the days for the next 'big thing' and now I'm soaking up everything I can while I can.
Deep down I'd think that everyone would like to have a partner in crime to share the ups and downs with while traveling and I do to a certain degree but its also something else to be able to handle it on your own. I am going to try and stay offline for the next little while so I can fully emerge myself into the moment and culture of where I am with no distractions.
I'd have to say that I am truly happy and I guess it took me to travel to the other side of the world to fully realize that.

Namaste friends xo

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