August 29, 2012

dancing between raindrops

  My body aches more today than it has in a long time. I haven't been able to wake up lately close to refreshed or comfortable. I'm attributing that to the constant house/bed shifts in the past few months, I sure hope my body adjusts soon - or it's only going to get much worse while backpacking. The added pain isn't helping with my moods either.. One minute I'm fine the next I'm grouchy or on the verge of tears for little to no reason. More self investigation is needed.
  Lately, I have found I am being able to turn off certain thoughts in my brain which is a huge relief. However it may be temporary, so I won't get my hopes up just yet. One thought process I've been able to dissolve almost entirely is the constant feeling of friends judging me or not being happy with me. I used to dwell on it for hours a day without being able to stop the loop. Here's hoping if I've been able to gear down this channel I may be alter the rest somehow.
  Surrounding myself with great, solid people have been key to my 'recovery' (I don't really like to use that word for mental illness, so let's go with 'transformation' for now instead). Being around children more has surprisingly helped me as well. If you know me, you know I am not a kid person - never have been and thought I never would be but as of late I have been embracing all that is love, and children ooze it. Along with kiddies, I've been trying to spend more time with animals and nature and on the whole its been doing wonders for my imagination and creativity. Even if such hasn't hit paper yet - the motive is there and that's good enough for me coach.
  In the short time I've been writing this post the rain has dissipated, the sun has come out and is dancing all over the window - as if mother nature knew I needed a happy boost :) I think I'll take this as a sign and run with it!
Namaste friends xo

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